Dating Etiquette

Proper behavior on a date.A formal date can meanhave gone out with his orthodontist. (If the guy is an
different things to different people -- a night out onorthodontist, he should always take a girl to a pizza
the town, a Broadway play, a lavish meal, anshop on the first date. If the relationship survives,
intellectually stimulating encounter. Sometimes a dateshe's not after his money. If she keeps going back
can mean nothing more than just getting out of theto the pizza shop without him or his money, he
house. However, not observing proper etiquette canpicked on some strange girl who likes pizza more
turn the courting process into something it shouldthan anything else in the world.)By the same token,
never mean to anyone -- total disaster.When calling athe girl should not be too eager to order everything
girl for a date, for instance, it is improper for a guyon the menu as to become the cause of the guy's
to reverse the charges. This could give the girl theoverspending. He may not really be able to afford it.
impression that he's somewhat of a cheap guy. AndThe fact that he drives a Caddy and wears a fancy
this may not necessarily be so. The reason he maysuit doesn't necessarily mean he's rolling in dough.
be calling collect is because he needs the only twoCaddys can be bought on "payments" or rented, and
rolls of quarters he has for some video games. Butsuits can be charged to credit cards. In this respect,
she may not know this. (And it would be best thatappearances can indeed be very deceiving. If you
he not explain it to her.)The proper thing for a guytook away everything people do not actually own,
to do is to pay for the call. And, if calling from a paymany aspects of life would undergo drastic changes.
phone is necessary, he should always have extraWeddings would certainly never be the same. Brides
change at hand just in case the conversation runs awould probably wear leotards, grooms would dress in
little longer than expected. If the girl's mother isfaded jeans, and wedding guests would wear shorts.
known to talk a lot, he should have at least thirtyRock stars would ride around on stretch-bicycles.
dollars worth of quarters with him. If he doesn't useTraffic in midtown Manhattan would be reduced to
up all the change, she's probably adopted.It isone car per ten square blocks, and no longer would
improper for the girl to ask what kind of car the guycrossing the street be considered a bold and
drives in order to decide whether or not to go outcourageous act. Traffic Department tow trucks
with him. However, if his first name is Lee, it is notwould have to resort to towing away baby carriages
out of line to ask if his last name happens to beand shopping carts just to keep up their image as a
Iacocca. If he says "yes," to avoid possiblepublic nuisance.Of course, some false appearances of
embarrassment after a two hour conversation, shebeing well-to-do are not exactly accidents. Deliberate
should verify that he has the right number. If heexaggeration sometimes plays a major role in this
does, she should skip the conversation and just ask,deceptive process. But with a keen and alert mind, a
"What time are you picking me up?"If the guy claimsgirl should be able to weed out some of the
to be a Colonel, and says his initials are MQ, it is inmisinformation being fed to her. For example, when a
the girl's interest to ask if he happens to be in chargeguy says he owns a Porsche, two private jets, and a
of a country called Lybia. If he says "maybe," sheUFO, that should be a good tip-off. Why would one
should tell him he reached a wrong number inperson need two jets?But even if the guy can very
Krakatoa. If he says a definite "yes," she should tellwell afford to buy everything on the menu, there is
him he reached the Union of Organized Crimeno need to encourage expensive, price-gouging
Families, and if he doesn't hang up in ten secondsrestaurants. For the kind of exorbitant prices some
she'll send someone over to fit him with a pair ofrestaurants charge, the waiter should go home with
cement shoes.When arriving for the first time at ayou and serve breakfast in bed for two weeks, or
girl's house and she is not yet ready, the guy shouldthe management should at least allow you to take
patiently make casual conversation with her parents.home your table and chairs. If you also had dessert,
(If she lives with her parents, that is. If she doesn't,you should be allowed to take home the curtains too.
he should not ask to use her phone just to callWhy shouldn't you get your money's worth? It is
them.) Showing a lack of interest in her parents andquite disheartening to know that for the price of two
appearing too eager to just pick her up and leavesteaks in one of New York's "finer" restaurants you
would probably not lie in his best interest. But undercan buy an entire bull in Mexico and have enough
no circumstances should he ask her father, "Can youmoney left over to build an arena around it.If
lend me twenty dollars? I'm a little short today. I'll payentertainment is on the agenda for the evening, it is
you back at the wedding."If by some stroke ofof utmost importance that the couple agrees on
stupidity he already made the mistake of asking hersomething mutually enjoyable. There are methods of
father for money, the only thing to do at that pointcompromising without totally relinquishing preferences.
is to closely observe the father's reaction, this shouldFor instance, if the couple has finally narrowed the
tell the guy where he stands. If the father whispersentertainment options down to a movie but just
something into the mother's ear, the father doesn'tcan't agree on which one, they might want to look
like him. If the father asks the guy where he's takingfor a sixplex theater. This way, they can each see
their daughter and what time she can be expecteddifferent movies yet still be in the same building. But
home, the father doesn't trust him. If the fatherthe guy should refrain from running back and forth
reaches into his (own) pocket and pulls out fortywith the popcorn. This may disturb other
dollars instead of twenty, then asks the guy whatpatrons.When taking the girl home at the end of the
color table cloth goes well with a white tuxedo, if it'sevening, it is proper for the guy to walk her to the
a blind date, the guy is in one big heap of trouble.It isdoor. If he had a good time, it is okay to show
not right for a girl who is being picked up by a dateinterest in setting up another date. But he should not
to allow her aunt and uncle to drop by under theask, "What are you doing for breakfast?" At least
pretense of running "out of tea bags" and for theenough time should be allowed for her aunt and uncle
express purpose of interrogating the guy for hoursto return to Albuquerque. If, on the other hand, he
to see whether he is "financially stable" and "worthydid not enjoy the evening, and has no intentions of
of our niece." Such charades are usually obvious fromgoing out with her again, simply dropping her off is
the outset anyway. The aunt and uncle beingsufficient -- it would be totally out of line for him to
dressed in formal attire is usually a dead giveaway.tie a name-and-address tag to her coat button, drop
What kind of tea were they planning to make? Aher off at some random corner, and say, "If you can
Lipton cuisine? It's even more obvious if the guyread, you'll make it home." This kind of thing just isn't
happens to know that the girl's only aunt and uncledone.No girl should call all her friends the next day and
live as far away as Albuquerque. Where did they runtell them every last detail about the date -- where
out of tea bags? At home? On the plane? Or in thethey went, what they did, every word they spoke,
cab from the airport?On the other hand, even ifetc. A guy's privacy should be respected. If it's really
expecting a few questions concerning one's livelihoodall that exciting, she should write it down and submit
when picking up a date, it is still considered in poorit to a television studio as an idea for a mini series.
taste for the guy to bring along his accountant andFor a twenty percent cut, most guys will give up
financial statements. However, it is okay for him totheir privacy.If the date was a pleasant and
sew a microfilm of his W2 forms of the past fourenjoyable experience, it would probably be a good
years into a lapel just in case her relatives get reallyidea for the guy to send the girl flowers shortly
rough.When the guy and the girl finally leave herthereafter. A more novel approach might be to send
house, he should open the car door for her. If hethe flowers with a singing telegram of such hit songs
doesn't have a car and they take the subway, heas "You and Me" and "Almost Paradise." If her
should disregarded this custom and allow the subwayfeelings turn out to coincide with his, it could be the
conductor to open the doors. Getting arrested canstart of a long and meaningful relationship. However,
really ruin a date.Taking a girl to an exquisiteif she returns a singing telegram of the songs
restaurant is fine. But ordering every over-priced item"Against All Odds" and "Dust in the Wind," he would
on the menu just to impress a date with one'sbe well advised to once more begin looking through
limitless cash reserves (and perhaps with the ability tohis little black book. And next time, stick to a
pronounce certain menu items), is overdoing it a bit.candy-gram.
If she were really that interested in money she'd