| Proper behavior on a date.A formal date can | | | | in money she'd have gone out with his |
| mean different things to different people -- | | | | orthodontist. (If the guy is an orthodontist, |
| a night out on the town, a Broadway play, a | | | | he should always take a girl to a pizza shop |
| lavish meal, an intellectually stimulating | | | | on the first date. If the relationship |
| encounter. Sometimes a date can mean nothing | | | | survives, she's not after his money. If she |
| more than just getting out of the house. | | | | keeps going back to the pizza shop without |
| However, not observing proper etiquette can | | | | him or his money, he picked on some strange |
| turn the courting process into something it | | | | girl who likes pizza more than anything else |
| should never mean to anyone -- total | | | | in the world.)By the same token, the girl |
| disaster.When calling a girl for a date, for | | | | should not be too eager to order everything |
| instance, it is improper for a guy to reverse | | | | on the menu as to become the cause of the |
| the charges. This could give the girl the | | | | guy's overspending. He may not really be able |
| impression that he's somewhat of a cheap guy. | | | | to afford it. The fact that he drives a Caddy |
| And this may not necessarily be so. The | | | | and wears a fancy suit doesn't necessarily |
| reason he may be calling collect is because | | | | mean he's rolling in dough. Caddys can be |
| he needs the only two rolls of quarters he | | | | bought on "payments" or rented, and suits can |
| has for some video games. But she may not | | | | be charged to credit cards. In this respect, |
| know this. (And it would be best that he not | | | | appearances can indeed be very deceiving. If |
| explain it to her.)The proper thing for a guy | | | | you took away everything people do not |
| to do is to pay for the call. And, if calling | | | | actually own, many aspects of life would |
| from a pay phone is necessary, he should | | | | undergo drastic changes. Weddings would |
| always have extra change at hand just in case | | | | certainly never be the same. Brides would |
| the conversation runs a little longer than | | | | probably wear leotards, grooms would dress in |
| expected. If the girl's mother is known to | | | | faded jeans, and wedding guests would wear |
| talk a lot, he should have at least thirty | | | | shorts. Rock stars would ride around on |
| dollars worth of quarters with him. If he | | | | stretch-bicycles. Traffic in midtown |
| doesn't use up all the change, she's probably | | | | Manhattan would be reduced to one car per ten |
| adopted.It is improper for the girl to ask | | | | square blocks, and no longer would crossing |
| what kind of car the guy drives in order to | | | | the street be considered a bold and |
| decide whether or not to go out with him. | | | | courageous act. Traffic Department tow trucks |
| However, if his first name is Lee, it is not | | | | would have to resort to towing away baby |
| out of line to ask if his last name happens | | | | carriages and shopping carts just to keep up |
| to be Iacocca. If he says "yes," to avoid | | | | their image as a public nuisance.Of course, |
| possible embarrassment after a two hour | | | | some false appearances of being well-to-do |
| conversation, she should verify that he has | | | | are not exactly accidents. Deliberate |
| the right number. If he does, she should skip | | | | exaggeration sometimes plays a major role in |
| the conversation and just ask, "What time are | | | | this deceptive process. But with a keen and |
| you picking me up?"If the guy claims to be a | | | | alert mind, a girl should be able to weed out |
| Colonel, and says his initials are MQ, it is | | | | some of the misinformation being fed to her. |
| in the girl's interest to ask if he happens | | | | For example, when a guy says he owns a |
| to be in charge of a country called Lybia. If | | | | Porsche, two private jets, and a UFO, that |
| he says "maybe," she should tell him he | | | | should be a good tip-off. Why would one |
| reached a wrong number in Krakatoa. If he | | | | person need two jets?But even if the guy can |
| says a definite "yes," she should tell him he | | | | very well afford to buy everything on the |
| reached the Union of Organized Crime | | | | menu, there is no need to encourage |
| Families, and if he doesn't hang up in ten | | | | expensive, price-gouging restaurants. For the |
| seconds she'll send someone over to fit him | | | | kind of exorbitant prices some restaurants |
| with a pair of cement shoes.When arriving for | | | | charge, the waiter should go home with you |
| the first time at a girl's house and she is | | | | and serve breakfast in bed for two weeks, or |
| not yet ready, the guy should patiently make | | | | the management should at least allow you to |
| casual conversation with her parents. (If she | | | | take home your table and chairs. If you also |
| lives with her parents, that is. If she | | | | had dessert, you should be allowed to take |
| doesn't, he should not ask to use her phone | | | | home the curtains too. Why shouldn't you get |
| just to call them.) Showing a lack of | | | | your money's worth? It is quite disheartening |
| interest in her parents and appearing too | | | | to know that for the price of two steaks in |
| eager to just pick her up and leave would | | | | one of New York's "finer" restaurants you can |
| probably not lie in his best interest. But | | | | buy an entire bull in Mexico and have enough |
| under no circumstances should he ask her | | | | money left over to build an arena around |
| father, "Can you lend me twenty dollars? I'm | | | | it.If entertainment is on the agenda for the |
| a little short today. I'll pay you back at | | | | evening, it is of utmost importance that the |
| the wedding."If by some stroke of stupidity | | | | couple agrees on something mutually |
| he already made the mistake of asking her | | | | enjoyable. There are methods of compromising |
| father for money, the only thing to do at | | | | without totally relinquishing preferences. |
| that point is to closely observe the father's | | | | For instance, if the couple has finally |
| reaction, this should tell the guy where he | | | | narrowed the entertainment options down to a |
| stands. If the father whispers something into | | | | movie but just can't agree on which one, they |
| the mother's ear, the father doesn't like | | | | might want to look for a sixplex theater. |
| him. If the father asks the guy where he's | | | | This way, they can each see different movies |
| taking their daughter and what time she can | | | | yet still be in the same building. But the |
| be expected home, the father doesn't trust | | | | guy should refrain from running back and |
| him. If the father reaches into his (own) | | | | forth with the popcorn. This may disturb |
| pocket and pulls out forty dollars instead of | | | | other patrons.When taking the girl home at |
| twenty, then asks the guy what color table | | | | the end of the evening, it is proper for the |
| cloth goes well with a white tuxedo, if it's | | | | guy to walk her to the door. If he had a good |
| a blind date, the guy is in one big heap of | | | | time, it is okay to show interest in setting |
| trouble.It is not right for a girl who is | | | | up another date. But he should not ask, "What |
| being picked up by a date to allow her aunt | | | | are you doing for breakfast?" At least enough |
| and uncle to drop by under the pretense of | | | | time should be allowed for her aunt and uncle |
| running "out of tea bags" and for the express | | | | to return to Albuquerque. If, on the other |
| purpose of interrogating the guy for hours to | | | | hand, he did not enjoy the evening, and has |
| see whether he is "financially stable" and | | | | no intentions of going out with her again, |
| "worthy of our niece." Such charades are | | | | simply dropping her off is sufficient -- it |
| usually obvious from the outset anyway. The | | | | would be totally out of line for him to tie a |
| aunt and uncle being dressed in formal attire | | | | name-and-address tag to her coat button, drop |
| is usually a dead giveaway. What kind of tea | | | | her off at some random corner, and say, "If |
| were they planning to make? A Lipton cuisine? | | | | you can read, you'll make it home." This kind |
| It's even more obvious if the guy happens to | | | | of thing just isn't done.No girl should call |
| know that the girl's only aunt and uncle live | | | | all her friends the next day and tell them |
| as far away as Albuquerque. Where did they | | | | every last detail about the date -- where |
| run out of tea bags? At home? On the plane? | | | | they went, what they did, every word they |
| Or in the cab from the airport?On the other | | | | spoke, etc. A guy's privacy should be |
| hand, even if expecting a few questions | | | | respected. If it's really all that exciting, |
| concerning one's livelihood when picking up a | | | | she should write it down and submit it to a |
| date, it is still considered in poor taste | | | | television studio as an idea for a mini |
| for the guy to bring along his accountant and | | | | series. For a twenty percent cut, most guys |
| financial statements. However, it is okay for | | | | will give up their privacy.If the date was a |
| him to sew a microfilm of his W2 forms of the | | | | pleasant and enjoyable experience, it would |
| past four years into a lapel just in case her | | | | probably be a good idea for the guy to send |
| relatives get really rough.When the guy and | | | | the girl flowers shortly thereafter. A more |
| the girl finally leave her house, he should | | | | novel approach might be to send the flowers |
| open the car door for her. If he doesn't have | | | | with a singing telegram of such hit songs as |
| a car and they take the subway, he should | | | | "You and Me" and "Almost Paradise." If her |
| disregarded this custom and allow the subway | | | | feelings turn out to coincide with his, it |
| conductor to open the doors. Getting arrested | | | | could be the start of a long and meaningful |
| can really ruin a date.Taking a girl to an | | | | relationship. However, if she returns a |
| exquisite restaurant is fine. But ordering | | | | singing telegram of the songs "Against All |
| every over-priced item on the menu just to | | | | Odds" and "Dust in the Wind," he would be |
| impress a date with one's limitless cash | | | | well advised to once more begin looking |
| reserves (and perhaps with the ability to | | | | through his little black book. And next time, |
| pronounce certain menu items), is overdoing | | | | stick to a candy-gram. |
| it a bit. If she were really that interested | | | | |