| Proper behavior on a date.A formal date can mean | | | | have gone out with his orthodontist. (If the guy is an |
| different things to different people -- a night out on | | | | orthodontist, he should always take a girl to a pizza |
| the town, a Broadway play, a lavish meal, an | | | | shop on the first date. If the relationship survives, |
| intellectually stimulating encounter. Sometimes a date | | | | she's not after his money. If she keeps going back |
| can mean nothing more than just getting out of the | | | | to the pizza shop without him or his money, he |
| house. However, not observing proper etiquette can | | | | picked on some strange girl who likes pizza more |
| turn the courting process into something it should | | | | than anything else in the world.)By the same token, |
| never mean to anyone -- total disaster.When calling a | | | | the girl should not be too eager to order everything |
| girl for a date, for instance, it is improper for a guy | | | | on the menu as to become the cause of the guy's |
| to reverse the charges. This could give the girl the | | | | overspending. He may not really be able to afford it. |
| impression that he's somewhat of a cheap guy. And | | | | The fact that he drives a Caddy and wears a fancy |
| this may not necessarily be so. The reason he may | | | | suit doesn't necessarily mean he's rolling in dough. |
| be calling collect is because he needs the only two | | | | Caddys can be bought on "payments" or rented, and |
| rolls of quarters he has for some video games. But | | | | suits can be charged to credit cards. In this respect, |
| she may not know this. (And it would be best that | | | | appearances can indeed be very deceiving. If you |
| he not explain it to her.)The proper thing for a guy | | | | took away everything people do not actually own, |
| to do is to pay for the call. And, if calling from a pay | | | | many aspects of life would undergo drastic changes. |
| phone is necessary, he should always have extra | | | | Weddings would certainly never be the same. Brides |
| change at hand just in case the conversation runs a | | | | would probably wear leotards, grooms would dress in |
| little longer than expected. If the girl's mother is | | | | faded jeans, and wedding guests would wear shorts. |
| known to talk a lot, he should have at least thirty | | | | Rock stars would ride around on stretch-bicycles. |
| dollars worth of quarters with him. If he doesn't use | | | | Traffic in midtown Manhattan would be reduced to |
| up all the change, she's probably adopted.It is | | | | one car per ten square blocks, and no longer would |
| improper for the girl to ask what kind of car the guy | | | | crossing the street be considered a bold and |
| drives in order to decide whether or not to go out | | | | courageous act. Traffic Department tow trucks |
| with him. However, if his first name is Lee, it is not | | | | would have to resort to towing away baby carriages |
| out of line to ask if his last name happens to be | | | | and shopping carts just to keep up their image as a |
| Iacocca. If he says "yes," to avoid possible | | | | public nuisance.Of course, some false appearances of |
| embarrassment after a two hour conversation, she | | | | being well-to-do are not exactly accidents. Deliberate |
| should verify that he has the right number. If he | | | | exaggeration sometimes plays a major role in this |
| does, she should skip the conversation and just ask, | | | | deceptive process. But with a keen and alert mind, a |
| "What time are you picking me up?"If the guy claims | | | | girl should be able to weed out some of the |
| to be a Colonel, and says his initials are MQ, it is in | | | | misinformation being fed to her. For example, when a |
| the girl's interest to ask if he happens to be in charge | | | | guy says he owns a Porsche, two private jets, and a |
| of a country called Lybia. If he says "maybe," she | | | | UFO, that should be a good tip-off. Why would one |
| should tell him he reached a wrong number in | | | | person need two jets?But even if the guy can very |
| Krakatoa. If he says a definite "yes," she should tell | | | | well afford to buy everything on the menu, there is |
| him he reached the Union of Organized Crime | | | | no need to encourage expensive, price-gouging |
| Families, and if he doesn't hang up in ten seconds | | | | restaurants. For the kind of exorbitant prices some |
| she'll send someone over to fit him with a pair of | | | | restaurants charge, the waiter should go home with |
| cement shoes.When arriving for the first time at a | | | | you and serve breakfast in bed for two weeks, or |
| girl's house and she is not yet ready, the guy should | | | | the management should at least allow you to take |
| patiently make casual conversation with her parents. | | | | home your table and chairs. If you also had dessert, |
| (If she lives with her parents, that is. If she doesn't, | | | | you should be allowed to take home the curtains too. |
| he should not ask to use her phone just to call | | | | Why shouldn't you get your money's worth? It is |
| them.) Showing a lack of interest in her parents and | | | | quite disheartening to know that for the price of two |
| appearing too eager to just pick her up and leave | | | | steaks in one of New York's "finer" restaurants you |
| would probably not lie in his best interest. But under | | | | can buy an entire bull in Mexico and have enough |
| no circumstances should he ask her father, "Can you | | | | money left over to build an arena around it.If |
| lend me twenty dollars? I'm a little short today. I'll pay | | | | entertainment is on the agenda for the evening, it is |
| you back at the wedding."If by some stroke of | | | | of utmost importance that the couple agrees on |
| stupidity he already made the mistake of asking her | | | | something mutually enjoyable. There are methods of |
| father for money, the only thing to do at that point | | | | compromising without totally relinquishing preferences. |
| is to closely observe the father's reaction, this should | | | | For instance, if the couple has finally narrowed the |
| tell the guy where he stands. If the father whispers | | | | entertainment options down to a movie but just |
| something into the mother's ear, the father doesn't | | | | can't agree on which one, they might want to look |
| like him. If the father asks the guy where he's taking | | | | for a sixplex theater. This way, they can each see |
| their daughter and what time she can be expected | | | | different movies yet still be in the same building. But |
| home, the father doesn't trust him. If the father | | | | the guy should refrain from running back and forth |
| reaches into his (own) pocket and pulls out forty | | | | with the popcorn. This may disturb other |
| dollars instead of twenty, then asks the guy what | | | | patrons.When taking the girl home at the end of the |
| color table cloth goes well with a white tuxedo, if it's | | | | evening, it is proper for the guy to walk her to the |
| a blind date, the guy is in one big heap of trouble.It is | | | | door. If he had a good time, it is okay to show |
| not right for a girl who is being picked up by a date | | | | interest in setting up another date. But he should not |
| to allow her aunt and uncle to drop by under the | | | | ask, "What are you doing for breakfast?" At least |
| pretense of running "out of tea bags" and for the | | | | enough time should be allowed for her aunt and uncle |
| express purpose of interrogating the guy for hours | | | | to return to Albuquerque. If, on the other hand, he |
| to see whether he is "financially stable" and "worthy | | | | did not enjoy the evening, and has no intentions of |
| of our niece." Such charades are usually obvious from | | | | going out with her again, simply dropping her off is |
| the outset anyway. The aunt and uncle being | | | | sufficient -- it would be totally out of line for him to |
| dressed in formal attire is usually a dead giveaway. | | | | tie a name-and-address tag to her coat button, drop |
| What kind of tea were they planning to make? A | | | | her off at some random corner, and say, "If you can |
| Lipton cuisine? It's even more obvious if the guy | | | | read, you'll make it home." This kind of thing just isn't |
| happens to know that the girl's only aunt and uncle | | | | done.No girl should call all her friends the next day and |
| live as far away as Albuquerque. Where did they run | | | | tell them every last detail about the date -- where |
| out of tea bags? At home? On the plane? Or in the | | | | they went, what they did, every word they spoke, |
| cab from the airport?On the other hand, even if | | | | etc. A guy's privacy should be respected. If it's really |
| expecting a few questions concerning one's livelihood | | | | all that exciting, she should write it down and submit |
| when picking up a date, it is still considered in poor | | | | it to a television studio as an idea for a mini series. |
| taste for the guy to bring along his accountant and | | | | For a twenty percent cut, most guys will give up |
| financial statements. However, it is okay for him to | | | | their privacy.If the date was a pleasant and |
| sew a microfilm of his W2 forms of the past four | | | | enjoyable experience, it would probably be a good |
| years into a lapel just in case her relatives get really | | | | idea for the guy to send the girl flowers shortly |
| rough.When the guy and the girl finally leave her | | | | thereafter. A more novel approach might be to send |
| house, he should open the car door for her. If he | | | | the flowers with a singing telegram of such hit songs |
| doesn't have a car and they take the subway, he | | | | as "You and Me" and "Almost Paradise." If her |
| should disregarded this custom and allow the subway | | | | feelings turn out to coincide with his, it could be the |
| conductor to open the doors. Getting arrested can | | | | start of a long and meaningful relationship. However, |
| really ruin a date.Taking a girl to an exquisite | | | | if she returns a singing telegram of the songs |
| restaurant is fine. But ordering every over-priced item | | | | "Against All Odds" and "Dust in the Wind," he would |
| on the menu just to impress a date with one's | | | | be well advised to once more begin looking through |
| limitless cash reserves (and perhaps with the ability to | | | | his little black book. And next time, stick to a |
| pronounce certain menu items), is overdoing it a bit. | | | | candy-gram. |
| If she were really that interested in money she'd | | | | |